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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Year:
2017
Country:
USA
Genre:
Action, Adventure, Fantasy
IMDB rating:
7.1
Director:
Espen Sandberg, Joachim Rønning
Orlando Bloom as Will Turner
Adam Brown as Cremble
Giles New as Murtogg
Kaya Scodelario as Carina Smyth
Angus Barnett as Mullroy
David Wenham as Scarfield
Martin Klebba as Marty
Kevin McNally as Gibbs
Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann
Geoffrey Rush as Captain Hector Barbossa
Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow
Javier Bardem as Captain Salazar
Storyline: Captain Jack Sparrow finds the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost pirates led by his old nemesis, the terrifying Captain Salazar, escape from the Devil's Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea...including him. Captain Jack's only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas.
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Reviews
Thoroughly enjoyed it!
I had a feeling I would disagree with the critics - so I went and saw it last night anyway. I'm so glad I did! While I didn't find the 4th movie all that great, this one was much better. It was a great little adventure with a decent amount of action, on par with the first few movies. I found myself laughing quite a bit and was looking forward to seeing how they would wrap it up. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has enjoyed any of the prior films... don't let the critics determine whether or not you see it.
2017-05-26
An Aging Franchise Overstays its welcome
Pirates of the Caribbean, when it came out in the early 2000s, was one of the most original and unique movies to be released in recent memory. It was a great mix of comedy, adventure and action that could appeal to the whole family. Depp's boozy Captain Jack Sparrow was part ruthless pirate and part sly wink. You never knew which one you would get. The first one got it all right: a great story, a ton of adventure and a lot of fun. However, the series has dropped in quality a bit more with each subsequent release, to the point that now I find the whole thing boring, trite and overdone. Depp's Sparrow continues his act, but now it's more canned and predictable. The story seems to be written as it goes along, so you lose track of what's going on and who's doing what and why we even care. It deals with Will Turner and Elizabeth Swain's son and that he wants to join an evil pirate group and yada yada. Some explosions, sword fights, Sparrow drunk walking and some boats on the water. Ho hum. The good news was at two hours, this was one of the shorter films in the series. The bad news is this aging franchise has long overstayed its welcome.
2017-05-27
If you liked the first three and want more of the same, here it is
A few of the reviews I read before going to see this fifth (and supposedly final) Pirates movie basically boiled down to "well, at least it's better than the last one". I don't know, am I the only one who liked "On Stranger Tides" because it at least tried to do something different with the franchise? This new entry just tosses the soundtrack and best bits of the first three films in a blender, adds a new zombie bad guy and a couple youthful new romantic leads and hits the puree button. They even re-use the "bad guys can walk through the bars of a prison cell" effect from one of the earlier movies.

Yeah, some of the special effects are spectacular, there are battles at sea, lots of stuff blows up, the villains are creepy and some of the comic relief is funny (and some is painfully unfunny), but watching this movie it was hard to shake the feeling that I'd seen it all before. It's pretty much paint-by-numbers, even down to Javier Bardem's bad guy reciting the film's title line just before it appears on screen. Even Depp's Captain Jack seemed largely uninspired.

On the positive side, many of the characters you've come to know from the first four films return for this one. Orlando Bloom's Will Turner shows up to help set up and resolve the plot, and even Keira Knightley makes a very brief appearance. At over two hours long I was afraid the film would drag in spots, but it moved along so quickly that I was actually a little surprised when they reached the big finale.

The plot, without getting into spoilers, revolves around Will's son Henry who is determined to break the curse on his father and rescue him from the Flying Dutchman. In order to do so, he has to retrieve a powerful, magical item that is also being sought by a brilliant young woman with a mysterious map that her unknown father left to her. It soon turns out that they need Jack Sparrow's help, and of course that drags Captain Barbossa into the fray. Opposing them all is the undead Captain Salazar, who bears a grudge against Sparrow and will not rest until he's dead.

There's a very short and unnecessary cameo by Paul McCartney as Jack's uncle Jack. He tells a lame joke, there's a single off-screen laugh as if even the filmmakers realized how pointless the scene was, and then the plot moves on.

One bit where the film really went off the rails was a flashback scene in which we learn why Salazar hates Sparrow so intensely. Instead of hiring a younger actor to play Jack, they digitally de-aged Depp and raised his voice about an octave. The result is just...creepy. And entirely unconvincing.

I don't know if it was just the theater where I saw the movie, but the picture was really dark for a lot of the film and the sound mix was terrible. The explosions and music were super-loud and often drowned out the dialog. I'm glad I didn't see the 3D version because I've heard that's even murkier-looking. At the rate movies are going, in a couple decades the theater experience will be staring at a black screen for two hours while being deafened by a continuous roar.

At any rate, if you loved the earlier films in the Pirates franchise and want another dose, or if you're just looking for a big, mindless spectacle with some bits of humor, this movie fits the bill. I can't say I really disliked it, but it also didn't make me sad that it's supposed to be the last one. Or is it? Stick around for a final scene after the credits that hints at an unlikely sequel. Or maybe it's just meant as some weird sort of joke. I heard people discussing it in the lobby and no one quite knew what to make of it.
2017-05-31
Bring back that horizon
I don't like it better or worse than Part IV but just like "On Stranger Tides" it is not on par with the original three movies ( and yes I loved the first and really liked the second and third) but it did have its moments and it did have some cool ideas and scenes. I particularly liked the ending which had some nostalgic and emotional vibes. But yes the franchise is more or less over, and I say that although I liked it. The screenplay and especially dialogues were really not good and rather dry - or try hard? Johnny Depp proves that he obviously only does it for the pay cheque (while i really was motivated in part 1 - 3 ) his character falls more and more flat. Javier Bardem was not good here either. I really did not like his character nor his performance. Glad that the great Geoffrey Rush was back and he was the only one who really seemed to have enjoyed being there. And I was happy to see Orlando Bloom back (never thought I would say that) because that brought back some tiny little dynamic the former films had. The two new youngsters Brenton Thwaits and especially Kaya Scodalario were fine and had decent enough characters and motivations. Why I still liked the film? The action scenes were great. Many fantastic stunts and action value which constantly kept me entertained. There were some really nice twists. Oh and they finally put more emphasize on the great score again. Cinematography and visual effects were also good. But if there is ever be a sixth one I hope they bring back Bloom and Keira Knightley in main roles again for nostalgic reasons and to bring back the old dynamic of the trio which is one of the reasons the first three films worked so well. Oh and Gore Verbinski probably wouldn't hurt either.
2017-06-11
Really bad acting
None of the characters had good chemistry together and all of the acting was poor. Jack's accent seemed new and he talked way more than in other movies so the new accent became really annoying. The two new teen characters are very bad actors and helped ruin the chemistry with everyone else. This movie has a lot more adult jokes that aren't funny and I'm not sure why everyone was so excited about the celebrity cameo. That scene was painfully unfunny and unnecessary. I had to go watch the original after I left this movie just to get the bad taste out of my mouth.
2017-06-05
Have fun with the pirates and Johny Depp is still the soul
Dear readers, Pirates of the Caribbean is a movie that I have been watching since my high school. Now I am already in the working life, but the spirit of that movie series is still on my heart, so that yesterday I watched it. Since last year, I know that there will be a continuity of that movie, but I never knew that the movie is about Revenge, well yes, finally about Revenge. Before I am telling to you my review, it is important to remember that each movie of Pirates of Caribbean movie, includes an unique plot within it, for example the last adventure is about Family, and then the others are about Love, Friendship, Father-Son relation, and Captain-Crew honesty. In this latest movie of Pirates of the Caribbean, it is about Revenge, but do not hesitate to watch it, because the plot is designed not to show up about the Revenge itself, but there are legend, myth, Science, Witch, fantasy, history of Bank, ethical Law of pirates, and of course ridiculous adventure are around the plot, from the beginning to the end. I can guarantee you that you will be laughing of many funny actions or languages, and sometimes you do not care about the end, what you really care is that the safety of the soul of this movie: That is Captain Jack Sparrow. Yes, Johny Depp is still the soul of the movie. He is leading all characters and he is the one who is making this adventure happens. Besides of its perfect, this movie has some illogical scenes and some missing plots, so that for those who are not really fan of Pirates of the Caribbean movies, will not really understand who is the real enemy and what pirates stake of life in that kind of level to protect Captain Jack Sparrow. Well, there must be a betrayal, but this movie never betray you to give a lot of have fun!!
2017-05-29
A Jar of Dirt
Remember when Johnny Depp exploded onto the big screen as Jack Sparo- Sorry, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, and it was awesome? Ah the good old days, what I would give to go back to that time where Pirates were cool and Salazar's Revenge didn't exist. The fifth instalment to the Pirates franchise displays a complete evolution of genre complying with Louis Giannetti's theory. The Cure of the Black Pearl marked the Primitive genre stage, the film blew audiences away and introduced them to the pirates genre. Dead Man's Chest marked the classical stage, classical conventions were utilised such as the Kraken and what have you. Next is the Revisionist stage of At World's End with it's time travel, witches that grow into giants and that sinkhole final act, let's just ignore the pointless fourth film aaaaaaaaaand now, unfortunately, we have the all out parody that is Salazar's revenge.

Pirates 5 is quite simply a parody of itself, from its stupidly absurd, comedic action sequences, to Johnny Depp himself. This film feels like one big joke and I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew this to be true. The way Jack is introduced in this film is quite possibly one of the goofiest sequences I've ever seen in the cinema. I've seen bank robberies go wrong before, but stealing the bank itself... All I can say is, what are those horses taking and where can I get me some? BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! The guillotine scene is just so horrifically bad I physically had to lift my jaw up off the floor in a mix of amazement and bafflement. The Pirates franchise is no stranger to big, illogical, comical action scenes, but this film takes that to a whole different level of stupidity and is almost like a scene out of Epic Movie.

As well as the action scenes being all out parodies of ones which preceded them, the acting is as much, if not more so. Johnny Depp drunkenly stumbles out of the children's hospital to play Jack Sparrow once again... Or at least I think he was acting... I'm not quite sure to be honest. Sparrow has always been an alcoholic character, but that was once his lovable charm, now Depp slurs his speech and acts so confused to the point where it's hard to believe he hadn't had "a single drop of rum." This being said he gives the best performance in this film which is shocking to be honest. Geoffrey Rush, similar to Depp, plays a parody of his character Captain Barbossa, but to be honest, Barbossa was always a kind of parody of pirates so I can let that slide. However, what I cannot excuse is the abysmal performance by the films two newcomers Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario. Not helped by their rather forced relationship, the two provide a masterclass in wooden acting that makes it near impossible to care for their characters.

However bad the acting is, it is not the worst part of this film, oh no. That would be the films script and visuals. Firstly, the script. Pirates 5 is plagued with terrible dialogue. Lines are recycled over and over, exposition is embedded with little effort and subtlety and the sex jokes, lots and lots of cringe worthy, unfunny sex jokes. Sex jokes are practically the back bone of comedy nowadays and can be hilarious, but here the jokes just come off as dirty, like a bunch of dirty old men in a bar recounting "the things I'd do to her." Simply put, it's extremely uncomfortable to watch and hear. The film also features a few pointless characters. From the bald witch lady who is simply there to give Barbossa Jack's compass, to Paul McCartney's Cameo role as Uncle Jack. The film just doesn't need them and they either act as a plot device or a waste of everyone's time.

Now the visuals, the film was poorly shot. The lighting at night was non existent and the way the camera is positioned for some shots was possibly the single worst place they could have placed the camera, hidden behind objects so the action of focus is distorted/ out of view. Also you can clearly tell where the film is missing a vital shot or just couldn't be bothered to shoot it, as the use of fast cutting and cut away shots are used in an attempt to cover this up, but instead only highlights it and thus confuses the audience. SPOILER WARNING! When Henry is kidnapped by Salazar there is no shot of him being pulled away or anything. A series of fast cuts, Carina's reaction shot to a non existent shot and expositional dialogue of "THEY TOOK HENRY!" is used to present his capture, and frankly it just seems like they spent too much money on Salazar's gravity defying hairdo, that their visual effects budget was bone dry. This happens a fair bit in Pirates 5 and it simply leaves you as confused as Depp appears to be throughout.

To conclude, Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge is by far the worst in the Pirates franchise. A full on parody of what it once was with horrific acting, poorly shot sequences and a script that needs some work done to say the least. I know I've been insanely harsh so, on the off chance that the filmmakers see this, I would like to say the famous line "it's nothing personal, it's just business" whether or not you agree or disagree with me, none of us can deny that the theme tune is absolutely epic and pumps us up every time.
2017-06-12
Tedious to watch
I was really expecting another good story in the series, but this failed to deliver. The movie was very tedious to watch, and a number of times, I almost walked out, but kept thinking it had to get better. It did not. Jack, was a weaker, and not as focused on his stunts, but being drunk and unable to function in any manor. The story line was weak, and not very interesting, although it could have been better done. Most of the actors, seemed to be there more for the paycheck, than to give another good performance. In all, I could not find anything that made the movie worth the money I spent. Did not even get one laugh out of it.
2017-06-11
Oh My God I Am So Effing Disappointed I Cannot Believe What I Have Just Seen
(Gonna try not to cuss) I will start by saying I was/am fanatical about all three of the first ones. Yes the original is still the best, but the second is almost every damn bit as good. The plot was creative enough that it felt necessary, the writing was on par with the first, and Davy Jones is SO freaking good oh my god he is literally my favorite villain of all time (save for Agent Smith). The third one has its flaws (though I really can't think of any besides Keira Knightley's acting being occasionally over the top), but as a whole it's a WONDERFUL movie. Like sweet Jesus, Hans Zimmer's freaking score for that movie alone is goddamn legendary. And as a result I totally bought into the romance between Will & Elizabeth and really just felt an emotional connection to the whole series because of it (much like the emotion Howard Shore's music invokes for LotR). But what makes the third one so impressive is how well it handles ALL of that crazy plot while still introducing great new sh*t like the Brethren Court.

But I'm not here to talk about how great the original trilogy was. Odds are, most of you liked them too. What I want to talk about briefly before I tear Dead Men Tell No Tales to shreds, is On Stranger Tides. From what I gather, the fourth installment was/is NOT very popular. I like it. And I'll tell you why. While it didn't have the same epic sense of scale and adventure and romance and everything that made the first three so great, IT STILL HAD GOOD WRITING. It was clever, and witty, and funny as ever. And this is because Ted & Terry were still writing them, not FRICKING Jeff Nathanson. OMFG I'll get to him later. I would urge you though to go back and give On Stranger Tides another chance, especially if you've now seen the fifth installment. I think you'll find that even though it doesn't quite hold up against the first three it still FEELS like a Pirates of the Caribbean, and for all the reasons that Dead Men Tell No Tales did not, and here they are:

1) Johnny Depp has completely lost it. It's like he forgot how to play Jack Sparrow. There were seriously times watching him when I thought he was more Mad Hatter than he was Jack Sparrow. And it's so sad to watch. The old Jack was an idiot sure, but he was always clever, he was always suave, always cool. In this he's just silly. It's embarrassing. I'm serious when I say he acts like the Mad Hatter, you'll see what I mean. In the fourth one he at least still felt like Jack Sparrow.

2) Zimmer's so called "protege" Geoff Zanelli is so forgettable. I was actually trying to listen for his music but the only times the music stood out was when he was rehashing Zimmer's themes. And some of you may be like *sissy voice "oh that's all Zimmer did was rehash Badelt's themes". BISH PLEASE. Not only did he make Badelt's original theme sound even better, he introduced so many new ones (Jack's theme, Davy Jones' theme, Will & Elizabeth's theme). Even On Stranger Tides added a fun new Spanish twist to the old stuff.

3) Salazar, Henry, & Carina are also all completely forgettable. They're worse than Blackbeard (who I actually quite liked), Philip, and Syrena. There is hardly ANY character development for them and what little there was felt SO forced. I feel terrible for them (especially Thwaites and Bardem) because they're not bad actors (Bardem is actually a fantastic actor) but they just got saddled with one of the WORST freaking scripts of all time, which brings me to my final and primary complaint with the fifth installment.

4) JEFF NATHANSON IS CANCER. I mean my biggest (only) concerns from the start (because let's be honest the trailer's gave NO hint that the movie would be this bad) were the fact that Zimmer wasn't composing and that JEFF NATHANSON, the idiot who ruined Indiana Jones, was writing it, but I NEVER thought he could have F'd up this movie, not as badly as he did. Like, the movie had SO much going for it. Salazar could have been another great villain to put alongside Jones and Barbossa, but he was totally wasted with minimal and poor dialogue. Carina Smith, a female astronomer, could have been a GREAT female character! And her romance with Henry could have been done BEAUTIFULLY! Instead, what did we get? Well, I won't spoil it for you but I will say there is one of the most forced, predictable, and painstakingly banal twists I've ever seen in a movie regarding her character.

So, as I said, I absolutely LOVED the first three, and I really did like the fourth one. Enough that I was very excited about what they could do with the next one (the fifth one). All my friends said the franchise was dead but I maintained that the fifth installment had the potential to be amazing (which it did). And I waited SIX GODDAMNED YEARS for this fifth one. And it, was just, god, awful. So bad that I actually now don't want to see another installment, and I will honestly probably never watch it again because it's so bad that it almost taints my love for the first four.

I tried to think of reasons to give it more than the lowest possible rating, any reason. And ALL I could think of was the visual quality that the two Norwegian directors brought to it, so good for them, I give the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean a whopping two stars.

Thank you. This has been my angrily hastened unedited review of Dead Men Tell No Tales.
2017-05-28
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